Electric Rat

"It is I! SPEAKER OF RAT KING! COLLECTOR OF SOILED BLANKETS, WRINGER OF LIQUIDATED KITTEN CORPSES, LICKER OF PUBLIC DOORKNOBS!" ""

The arrival of the Speaker, and Ratism
It is widely known that the Speaker is the most masculine, muscular, passionately inept, charismatic, and humble being in all of Eldham. Though, his many qualities are inconceivable to the common peasant, the Speaker too, was born out of miracle. It all began in the city of Sturlungar, where the Speaker had been born out of a cloud of sweaty passion, excrement's that resemble the juices of passionate relations! It is true, peasants around the arrival of The Speaker were then lathered in the thick juices of jealousy, though, as the air cleared, the muscles of of the Speaker poked through, and the surrounding people of Sturlungar had no choice but to rush to the Speaker's midst, and scatter to the floor for the chance to taste a drop of his sweat. The Speaker had arrived right at the moment of Sturlungar's attackers, and had SLAPPED the attackers into submission! The attackers begged the Speaker and THIRSTED for FURTHER PUNISHMENT! It is here, where the very first steps of Ratism were made, Sturlungar is known as the birthplace of Ratism and The Rat Speaker.

The Path to Most Obvious Greatness
It was upon these most HOLY OF TIMES did Ratism begin, with the masses now witnessing a possibility towards the main magics of Ratism, they saw oppurtunities to rise up from the then nerdy majority in Eldham, and pursue a path of Most Obvious Greatness as it has been plain to all through the echo-communication of the Speaker's inherently flexible muscles, the standards of the world were now presented to the world via the Speaker's MOST WANTED words on the global communication channel.


 * To cleanse the Cat Species from Eldham as they had been revealed as an enemy to Ratism, and therefore, the world
 * To cease the nerd-like nature of the beings of Eldham
 * To provide a new standard of love and passion by placing the minimum marriage standard to 5 partners, each involving 2 men, 2 women, and one "Sole" partner whom would be placed in the role of MARRIAGE LEADER and order all partners to do their bidding. (voluntarily, of course)
 * To have all materials and currencies processed through the Church of Ratism in order to properly distribute wealth, as the most holy establishment known to man
 * To prosecute any Cat-Refugee harborers and cull any heretics to now hold the job as the Royal-Foot-Scrubber Battalion
 * BEGIN THE HOLY RAT WARS WHERE SWEATS SHALL COLLIDE AND HEADLOCKS SHALL CRACK THE SKULLS OF THOSE WHO OPPOSE RATISM

It is upon these most humble instatements of life, did The Speaker promise complete peace through the lands, excluding those who opposed our Great Rat King, in which case by Rattican Law nullifies all nay-sayers' opinions to be invalid, therefore not counting towards the individuals of value.

Persecution and Injustice towards the most loving Rat
The Speaker had shown time after time he was a being of great heart, incapable of lying nor of doing evil, A most humble Rat sewed from the passion and heart from a most loving Mother, Oolga, Horse God of Length and Throbability. The birth of Speaker through Rat King and Oolga is evidence that he is not capable of being of bad quality. It is a guarantee to the world that the Speaker is the most intelligent, loving, masculine, muscular, sweaty, most-great smelling, and overall, greatest individual in the entirety of Eldham. Though these are all scientifically proven facts, others seeked to Persecute Ratism.


 * The First Establishment of Ratism, The First Ratlantis had began to take form, with the most humble, yet masculine of the followers of Ratism taking root. They had began the baby steps of Ratism, creating pillars resembling the Speaker's Throbful Might, a bridge that most literally spanned two nations. It was the beginning of a most fruit-ful race in Eldham where they would have one day advanced the cultural era's advancement by 200x. Though... It was then Ratism had begun to feel the injustice and persecution that they would face. The First Coalition against Ratism had formed. COG, the nation in the North had talked to the Speaker of possible diplomacy between them, but afterwards had plotted to remove the MOST THIN-BONED followers from Ratism, jail the Speaker and yet had released the location of Ratlantis to all pimple-faced creatures of the land. Ratlantis was attacked constantly, the people persecuted, and required a new home. It was then the Speaker decided the property value of Ratlantis was lowering due to the Plague of Jealousy that had began plaguing the land.


 * It was upon this time, the Speaker had been re-locating for the MOST HOLY SPIRE RESEMBLING HIS IMPRESSIVE MEMBER, ROTTENKONIG. It was upon these times that Ratism was denied time and time again, From the nation Zamotz Union, attempting to extradite funds from the church for a land, to the almost disturbingly smelly basement of Lathien, it was MOST DIFFICULT to find a new place for Ratism. It was then the Speaker had PULSED with a thought to return to the BIRTHPLACE OF RATISM, Sturlungar. Rottenkonig was created, a new throbful temple for the Church of Ratism. It was not a day later when it was completed did the Second Coalition come to attack Ratism yet again. The mystical armpit-hair woven walls of Rottenkonig defended The Speaker from attack, with his most loyal Followers throwing their bare-chested bodies at the attackers, slain immediately in undeniable loyalty to Rat King... It was upon these most holy of times did the Speaker become a public criminal in the lands of the A.W.E. He was to be prosecuted and maintained within the country, not able to preach his religion in any manner. Most saddened to a country that had seemed most humble and contained many friends, the Speaker then began the next step toward Ratism - A place where no prosecution nor persecution would be placed.
 * The Second Ratlantis, the current home of the Ratists was found by the Speaker's love for swimming, his muscles gleamed in the sun as he had swam for hours, raising the global sea level by just the stroke of his paddle-shaped arms. It was when he had risen up, now thinned to the manner of a jealous Bachelor, did he realise what he had began. Ratlantis is now risen as the STANDARD OF ALL CIVILIZATION, a Technological Marvel as the Speaker discovered for the world what "Greater Building" is. It is still known that those who seek to steal such AMAZING WEALTH come to Ratlantis everyday, seeking for a chance at the Speaker's unattainable and therefore immortal soul and bodice.
 * It is constantly known to all that Ratism is the greatest Religion on all of Eldham, yet due to the Plague of Jealousy released upon the world due to the sudden creation of greatness, it is known that Ratists are the most persecuted group in all of Eldham, with those constantly releasing locations, disgracing our name through public media networks, and placing hits within Ratism, there is an urgent need for protection. The Rat's Templars is a response at a military might being created in the name of Ratism to protect against persecution, and COMPLETE THE HOLY RAT WARS.

Speaker's Work as THE HOLY RAT BANDIT
It was apparent upon the sacking of the first Ratlantis that the speaker had to yet again pull out the holy tank top and HEADLOCK THE HERETICS HIMSELF, SO AS TO PROTECT THE NAME OF RATISM AND THE LIVES OF RAT KING'S MOST ATTRACTIVE FOLLOWERS! Upon this work RAT SPEAKER had:

-Killed any who had threatened, wronged, or injured any person(s) of Ratism

-Killed any who had trespassed in RATTICAN LAND

-Assassinated a COG associate who had been invovled in the sacking of the First Ratlantis

Reasons in the Present for the return of THE HOLY RAT BANDIT
As it is most obvious that Ratism is indeed the sole religion of Eldham, the children-book Priests who grow jealous that their religion is not thriving wish to call upon their Peasant King's in an attempt to persecute, exterminate, and disassemble the Church of Ratism.

It is constant that hired mercenaries and Bandits are sent to Ratlantis and Rat's Templars to harm members of Ratism, and it is necessary for the MOST MASCULINE DEFENDER OF THE WORLD to be able to eliminate such FILFTH.

It is also another step against the constant and now escalating forces against Ratism, a thriving religion which requires protection from a constantly persecuted faith SUCH AS OURS!

Shrining of cities shall become even MORE dangerous as SPEAKER IS RE-ENABLED WITH MAXIMUM GLOW-ATIVITY! New dynamics in the threat of Ratism shall RISE TO MOST HEAVENLY AMOUNTS!

With the constant affairs of the RATIST-DOGEIST debate, new events shall take place in a constructed MOST OF HOLY Roleplayer-ey manner.

The Rise of The Rattican Empire
A prophesized banner, inviting (though mandatory) all of Rat Kind to go under one banner, to pledge complete and utter loyalty to Rat King's brestial pulses... An Empire, forged from Shite and Brotherly Filfth... a land in which Ratists are not shamed for eating the shite of their neighbors, nor wishing to make a tangy Kitten Brew... a land where all tresspassers are immediately shot and wrestled into submission using only the clothy-foot shirts they are supplied... Soon, as the Rattican Empire rises, Speaker has much in store for the future of the continent, and Ratism's official opening of THE DOORS.

 SPEAKER'S DAYS OF MEAT CARVING : BANDITRY AND FRUITS OF LABOUR 

Rat King had once again thirsted for the blood of those much too high in choloestorel... and he figured, logically, THAT THE MALNOURISHED EGG-LOVING SCOUNDRELS OF ELDHAM WOULD SUFFICE! He was being whispered to in the night by Rat King..

"Meat Shaped Mothers," said Rat King. "I wish for you to carve up those who oppose us in the shape of Mother... and to only grant them mercy and protection when they RISE A RAT STATUE!"

So the time began... Speaker began to go town to town, nation to nation DEMANDING that they raise Rat Statues with a mustache quota, otherwise face the STABBY CONSEQUENCES! Speaker began to threaten nations with sticks of butter to be shoved entirely upon the insides of their mouths... And when he had proven to the SUPBAR species of Hoomans that he was indeed a threat to their PATHETIC civilizations, THEY COWERED! "Oh Rat Speaker, Please! All I have is my insignificant little hut!" But they were no match for Rat Speaker and his DUTIFUL FORK.

Rat Speaker has done the following in his days of collecting pounds of walking meat:

-Forced CoAC, Cognia, Stellariso and others to build Rat Statues in exchange of peace and protection from RAT SPEAKER

-Has influenced many in the arts of Coprophagy, in exchange for their SHINY CLOTHING returned

-Shoved a significant amount of turdices (consensually) within the mouths of those slain

Rat Speaker plans to only elevate his plans of SHITTERY! As more Rat Statues are risen, it is becoming clear, Rats cannot be irradiated..