Bananaism

History

The glorious and eternal truth of Bananaism was brought to the world just a few decades ago, when the central prophet Mister Marshmallow was peacefully meditating underneath a banana tree as he had done all his life. Suddenly, a banana fell on his head and he became enlightened to understand the secrets of the gods above, for they saw his love and dedication to the might banana.

Legends say that after the banana hit him, a spot on his head began to grow since his brain couldn't fit all the wisdom in such a small area. The banana was extremely buoyant and ended up hitting Craftininja on the head as well as he was walking by. So they became the enlightened Central Prophets, understanding the wisdom of the gods. Thus, Bananaism was born.

The gods commanded the Central Prophets to establish their kingdom upon the earth, and so they travelled across land and sea in search of this land. After weeks of searching and nearly perishing by storms and starvation, they found their resting place and named it Banania, where the Mighty Temple was built and stands proud today, a beacon of hope for the Bananian people and the centre of their religious life.

Theology

Bananaism has a very simple theology that is based on the revelations given by the gods to their central prophets. Although Bananaism has many truths, the central message of Bananaism is; "Banana is life, and life is banana. We eat banana, but deep down we know we are banana." The ultimate goal of each Bananian is to reach the same enlightenment (be "unpeeled"), which can be achieved through a few easy steps. The main way is through obedience to the 2 Banana Laws, which are:


 * 1) No Bananian can harm another Bananian or their property
 * 2) No blasphemy against the gods above, the Banana Temple, or the Central Prophets

These are not the only laws but serve as the foundational guiding principles for the Prophets as they are led by the wisdom of the gods. If any of these laws are broken, the accused will go through trial, where the lower court (The Order) or the high court (Central Prophets) will decide their fate. Punishments can include exile, execution, paying tribute in repentance, etc. The lower court deals with smaller scale crimes while the high court deals with larger ones. If The Order is unable to settle an issue, it is taken to the High Court of Central Prophets.

The customary saying for greeting and departure for all Bananians is "banana be with you", because that is what the gods said to the prophets after delivering their divine revelations.

Leaders

Central Prophets (C.P)- The supreme authority for all Bananians, where all divine revelation is received and humbly accepted, for they are the only ones to be ultimately enlightened. They guide the faithful, share their wisdom, and keep everything running smoothly in the religious community. They have no authority of themselves but work as mediators of the mighty gods' authority.

Order of the Unpeeled (O.U)- These are the priests who share the truth given to them by the Central Prophets. They are there to help guide and defend the faithful Bananian's from any opposition. They are to seek the Central Prophets in times of conflict, while the community of Bananian's reports to them in times of need.